Monday, May 21, 2007

Bah Humbug

Imagine, if you will, you are a child again and Christmas is near. You know exactly how many days it is until the Big Day. You might even make a red and green construction paper chain to help count down the days. You are so excited you can hardly stand it. You wake up every morning and go to sleep every night with the anticipation on your mind. Ohhh, it's gonna be sooooooo good!

Now, imagine the day has finally arrived. You wake up; your eyes snap open. You rush out to the living room. But instead of seeing enormous piles of wrapped presents with big, pretty bows and your name all over them, you see an enormous pile of nothing.

Dejected, you sit and you wait. And you wait some more. Finally, at the end of business hours for the day, you come to terms with the fact that Christmas is late. You'll have to wait until after the weekend for the Big Day to arrive. Mumbling a little incoherently under your breath, you add another couple links back onto the chain.

Monday comes and again, you rush out. And again, enormous nothingness. This time you're not taking it. You call the North Pole with your tracking number to find out once and for all where your presents are. The elf on the other end of the line looks it up and informs you your Christmas has been wrapped but it never made it onto Santa's sleigh.

You e-mail Santa and in a very calm and polite manner inquire into the reason your presents haven't made it onto your living room floor. Santa is not available, of course, because it's now his off-season, so you have to wait for one of his elves to receive your e-mail and get back to you.

You sit and you stew.

Before too long, an elf gets back to you and apologizes for the delay. He tells you he's not sure how Santa missed the package, but it does indeed appear to be missing. You resist the urge to make a snide comment to the effect of "ya think???" because you know elves, by nature, aren't very receptive to jokes. Instead, you remain calm and tell the elf you appreciate his effort looking into the matter and to please do whatever it takes to get Christmas as soon as possible into your hands. Or onto your feet. Whatever the case may be.

Then you sit and you eat chocolate just to make you feel better.

9 comments:

Ovens2Betsy said...

Oh bummer! I felt that way waiting for my Garmin. Not only was I tracking the package (I knew EXACTLY when it arrived at the Seattle station), I also got a call the night before it was to be delivered saying someone would have to be home to sign for the package *sigh*

Neither one of us were going to be home, so I left a note for the UPS guy asking him to just bring it back to the station so that I could pick it up that night (sometimes they just try to deliver the next day). I also said it was okay to leave it on the tiki bar on our deck, but knew that probably wouldn't be kosher. Anyhoo, our UPS guy is DA BOMB since he asked my neighbor if he'd sign for it! Yippee!!! (Of course, I THEN had to wait about 3 hours for neighbor to get home. GRRRRR).

I'm sending good vibes your way that your new shoes will arrive tomorrow!

robison52 said...

My wife always orders stuff via the internet for clothes that arrives very late, or never arrives (something like a fast food joints' drive-thru window where you sometimes don't get what you ordered or it's cold). I don't have the patience to wait, I'm willing to spend a few extra dollars for immediate gratification by purchasing from a local running shoe store.

I, too, hope you get your shoes soon...when you do you'll be bouncing off the walls.

Jim said...

Maaaaaaaaan, that's even worse than opening a present thinking it's your much-anticipated Man from U.N.C.L.E. Spy Kit and finding out it's really a box of underwear and pajamas. Sigh!

The Salty One said...

Those shoes better be awesome!

See Zanne Run said...

i have so been here. never got the snazzy shorts i ordered ... i'm confused though - thought you had your new runners ... did i miss something somewhere? is this a second pair? ahhh - nevermind ... just saw last post about new kicks - you hadn't actually gotten them yet. ooh girlfriend, that's putting the cart before the blog post, doncha think?

Allen said...

RE Bruce's comments about internet sales.

Yes, buying through the internet is a different experience that many people won't like. I grew up in the days of ordering through the Sears catalog, so internet sales are a natural progression from that. I buy computer parts and running shoes and poly T-shirts from the internet, my two sons buy computer parts and my two daughters buy modest clothes from the Internet. We've never had problems in slow or missing deliveries, but there is a risk of that happening. However, if it is something that I might have to return for a warranty repair, I buy it locally if possible.

Joe said...

LOL!

Anonymous said...

Good things come to those who wait. ;-)

Ovens2Betsy said...

Okay, I can't stand the suspense any longer. Have they come yet?